Washington vs. Montana: A Showdown of Rainforests and Plains

Choosing between Washington and Montana is like deciding whether you prefer your coffee overpriced or your steak undercooked. Both states have their perks, but let’s dissect which one actually deserves your hard-earned vacation days.

1. Culinary Delights

Washington serves up seafood that swam this morning and apples that’ll make you reconsider everything you knew about fruit. In Montana, the steak is so fresh you might have seen it grazing as you drove in. Decide if you want your dinner to have had a better view of the ocean or a better life on the prairie.

2. Culture and Arts

Seattle’s throwing modern art in your face and calling it culture, with installations so abstract they make you feel like you missed a memo. Montana’s art scene offers up cowboy kitsch that makes you wonder if time travel is real. Modern and chic, or rustic and retro? Your pick.

3. History

In Washington, every other corner has a plaque where a tech startup was born, probably now a coffee shop that accepts cryptocurrency. Montana offers a historical tapestry of the Old West that’s gun-slinging and ghost town-filled, just short of a tumbleweed rolling through.

4. Music and Festivals

Washington basically birthed grunge and now hosts festivals where everyone pretends the ’90s never ended. Montana’s got country music that’ll either tug at your heartstrings or make you want to plug your ears, depending on your tolerance for banjos.

5. Natural Wonders

Montana’s got views so wide and wild they look like they’ve been Photoshopped. Washington answers with rainforests and volcanoes that Instagram filters were made for. Really, it’s about whether you like your trees lush or your mountains untouched.

6. Hospitality and Accommodation

Choose between Washington’s hipster hotels where you can’t swing a reusable shopping bag without hitting organic cotton linens, or Montana’s lodges that offer so much pine decor you might be allergic. Do you want to be eco-friendly or just plain friendly?

7. RV and Camping Facilities

Both states are great if you love camping under the stars with every creature comfort known to mankind strapped to a recreational vehicle. In Montana, you’ll have so much space you might forget other people exist. In Washington, you’ll share a vista with seventeen other Instagrammers.

8. Quirkiness

Washington’s weirdness includes gems like a museum dedicated to bad art. Montana counters with a roadside bull made entirely of car parts. It’s hipster odd vs. rustic weird—choose your flavor of bizarre.

9. Shopping

In Seattle, you can buy a handcrafted watch made from reclaimed driftwood. In Montana, you might find a hand-sewn quilt from someone who could be your grandma. If you need retail therapy, Washington’s your urban shopping spree; Montana’s your quaint marketplace.

10. Safety

Washington’s cities might have you clutching your wallet, while Montana’s only threat is probably wildlife or the odd tumbleweed attack. If you want to feel truly safe, maybe just stay home?

11. Family-Friendly Attractions

Washington has science museums where kids can touch everything without breaking it. Montana offers nature as the playground, where they can definitely break things. Depending on your parenting style, choose between controlled chaos or wild freedom.

12. Accessibility

Seattle’s got so many transit options you might actually get confused and end up on a ferry to nowhere. In Montana, you’d be lucky to find a bus within a 50-mile radius. Hope you like driving—or hitchhiking.

13. Environmental Initiatives

Washington acts like it invented recycling, with a side of smugness. Montana is still figuring out that plastic isn’t part of the food pyramid. If green is your color, you know where to go.

14. Health and Wellness

Both states will have you outdoors; Washington might make you a yoga enthusiast while Montana turns you into a bear-wrestling survivalist. Either way, you’re getting fit—or getting eaten.

15. Public Transport

In Washington, the buses run on time but are filled with people louder than your headphones. Montana’s idea of public transport is a friendly wave as cars pass you walking. Hope you packed good shoes.

16. Partying

Washington’s nightlife is like a caffeinated squirrel: erratic but entertaining. Montana’s parties are so intimate you’ll know everyone’s name and life story by midnight. Choose your level of social interaction wisely.

17. Affordability

Washington will have your wallet weeping in no time, while Montana is where dollars go to retire. If you prefer financial solvency on your vacation, head to the mountains.

18. Pet-Friendliness

Both states treat dogs like royalty, but in Washington, your pup can probably get a puppuccino at every coffee shop. In Montana, they can run free, assuming they don’t mind the occasional bison.

19. Sporting Culture

Washington has sports teams that actually make national headlines. Montana has sports like “who can stay on the horse the longest.” Depending on whether you prefer your sports organized or impromptu, pick a side.

20. Social Dynamics and Diversity

Seattle’s diversity includes every type of human you can imagine, and probably a few you can’t. Montana’s idea of diversity is deciding which flannel shirt to wear. If you thrive on variety, stick to the coast.

Ready to Choose Your Adventure?

Whether you’re looking for the thrill of an espresso shot or the chill of mountain air, it’s clear one of these states might just disappoint you less than the other. Pack your bags or don’t—but remember, it’s about the journey, not the inevitable letdown at the destination, right?

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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / simona pilolla 2.

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